Words to avoid while writing

These are my own personal notes. Writers may find this tool, or that keeping a list of passive or poorly chosen "words to avoid" to be useful for their own work. Here goes nothing...

Avoid the words:
Just
were
well
so
okay
yeah
only
I felt
anything
something
in an instant
at least
that
now
even
had
had been
was
look
looks
like
Not - anything NOT needs to be reworded to state what IS
Didn't, Don't, Doesn't... Same as above.

watch for:
It
It's

avoid incorrect formatting and grammar:
double spaces
commas
periods
use contractions.

Excerpt from the Julie Rayzor Sequel RayzorWire - Enjoy!

Another hour passed. The tension slowly eased, the argument forgotten about for a while. Riding down the highway was boring. We slowed to a walk again and occasionally Horseman moved his horse to the shoulder and following suit, we picked up a canter and made up some time.

Several times he stopped and after saying, “Stay here,” he rode away, disappearing beyond the trees or going several hundred yards into a hay field and stopping for several minutes, looking for something, turning his head one way or the other, sometimes sitting still, perhaps listening to the wind or the earth. Upon his return he said nothing except, “Let’s go,” and he led us again down the highway.

Lopez and I fell back from the others, stopping our horses and letting everyone go by. I pretended that I wanted to show him something and when we were last we walked our horses side-by-side once more. I reached over and took his hand. I looked at him until he caught my gaze, a smile coming to his lips. It was clear that he’d been brooding on his argument with Jim.

“Gary,” I said. He looked at me, his lips taking a crooked worried smile.

I said, “I want to wrap you up and hold you forever.” 

His tension eased as his smile widened. He stared silently at me.

“I want you to feel loved and wanted. I want to call you mine and hold your hand and never let you forget me... And Baby, you will always be wanted by me.”

He leaned over, grabbing tight to the horn of his saddle and I leaned towards him and before our horses could swerve with the shifting balance, we kissed. It was just a quick peck for our horses were wondering what we were doing, turning their heads to look and shifting us both off balance. We swiftly separated and laughed together. Some of the others looked back at us and laughed curiously wondering what we were doing.

“This seems like a good time.”

“Time for what?” My smiling staying on my face.

He dug into a cargo pocket and withdrew a ring-box.

“You aren’t going to propose again?” I laughed.

“No. Better. I consider us this way anyways.”

“What are you talking about?”

He popped open the top of the box and handed it to me. Inside were two rings, one above the other. The rings were a matched set, gold and silver inlaid bands. A stepped and jagged rim, formed with interlocking teeth encircled the bottom of one ring. The second ring was a mirror image of the first, formed so that the two rings could be locked together. Words were engraved on both rings.

“I had them made. A jeweler...”

“What do they say?”

“The engraving?”

“Yes.”

“Read it to me.”

I removed both rings, slipping my finger into the bands to keep from dropping them on the asphalt and I slipped the  box into a pocket.

Holding the rings up I read on along the words on one band, “Be thee mine.” On the second ring were the words, “As I am thine.”

“I do,” Lopez said with a smile.

I looked into his eyes and saw the handsome and tender person that often hid deep beneath a soldier’s exterior. I nodded and handed him one of the rings. 

“For us both?” I asked. “Together even if we were separated?”

“Yes.” He took the ring and put it on his smallest finger.

I fit the companion to several of my fingers and found that it fit my thumb best of all. 

“I will wear it for the rest of my life.”

“We have no priest to marry us,” he said.

“We are married in the heart. That’s all that matters.”

“Thank you,” he said, almost sheepishly. 

The others intermittently turned their heads or shifted in their saddles to look back at us. They knew we were up to something as witnessed to the grins on our faces, yet we didn’t speak for a long time. 

As we rode I caught Lopez glancing at me time and again, on his face was an expression of amazement as if he could not believed that I finally accepted him into my life.

Two miles further up the road we spotted Slick’s oil-truck in the distance, stopped in the median. We brought our horses to a halt and watched the truck. Nothing moved but we were  too far away to see any detail, even through binoculars. A thin line of smoke rose up into the air and I wondered if the Scabs had started a campfire. I told Horseman about Slick and how his men stole our gasoline.

“I’ll take my men north over the plains and circle in from that direction. You go south. Once the shooting starts come at a gallop. We’ll get your gasoline back and then some.” He laughed.

Jim and Lopez agreed with the plan and the two men led the way from the road to cross hay fields and putting scrubby brush and low trees between us and the oil truck. 

We rode at a trot on the grass for the sound of hooves was lighter and would not give us away. Forming a line we slowed to a walk as we approached the truck. I readied my shotgun. The others drew their weapons also and we prepared to fight. The truck was blocked by a line of trees along the highway, but the smoke still curling upwards told us exactly where to go. We closed to within a hundred yards and I listened for noise. All was silent. 

Suddenly someone yelled and then more yelling. I kicked Red into a canter and the others followed, but as I approached, my shotgun lowered, left hand on the pump and the reins, right hand on the stock, finger on the trigger, a man afoot, dismounted from his horse, walked out from the trees. He waved and yelled again. I almost shot him dead and trampled his body under hoof before I recognized Ramsey’s dirty blonde hair and crooked smile. 

Reining in Red and raising the muzzle on my gun, Ramsey stepped quickly to the side as I came to a stop. He was swift on his feet and he smiled Horseman’s grin, the family resemblance showing.

I turned to holler but his easy manner told me that everything was okay. I smiled back but I didn’t know why. There were supposed to be enemies here.

“They’re all dead,” he said, still smiling like an idiot.

I turned towards the road and passed through the trees. The oil truck was parked and leaking gasoline on the ground. Smoke billowed from beneath its hood, but worst of all were the bodies of Slick’s men lying on the ground. They might have been sleeping if not for the twisted angles of arms and legs and the sight of growing pools of blood leaking from bashed skulls and hewn open torsos. This was not a zombie attack with injuries formed by claws. The men were killed by prehistoric and primitive weapons. Arrows poked from one man. The broken off head of a bloody sledge hammer lay beside another. The haft was dropped a dozen feet away. Two more men were cut open as if by swords. 

I circled the truck, looking at the damage. Horseman and his men rode slowly around, looking at the carnage - no one speaking. Of the twelve of us only Ramsey was smiling his stupid grin.

On the side of the road a horse lay prone on the ground, raising its head to look at us. I steered Red towards the animal but she wouldn’t go. With blood everywhere and I was certain that the smell frightened her. Patting her neck and dismounting, I said, “Easy. Good girl. Peace. Love.”

She listened but when I tried to lead her to the injured horse again she would not go. Rather than fighting her, I handed the reins to Horseman.

“Don’t go over there,” he warned.

“Why not?” I turned and walked towards the horse, heedless of his words.

The horse on the ground raised its head once more, ears pinned back, it looked angry. I wondered if it was just scared, as the bullets holes in its side wept blood, blackening its heavy winter. He was dying. 

I walked around to its head. Its eyes were cast in grey, as if it was almost blind. I looked at its forehead for the sunken holes that come with age and found none. It’s tongue hung loose and I glanced its teeth. They were not pointed outwards like an old horse but the top and bottom teeth came straight down. She, for it was a mare, was young. Probably seven or ten years old.

I leaned into patted the horse on the head while I loosened by revolver in its holster. I was going to have to shoot him. It was the only thing left to show mercy to the magnificent animal. I didn’t want to do it. I’d never killed a horse before and I didn’t want to start, but he was in pain and he was going to die. There was nothing we could do.

“Get away from it,” Horseman ordered, not being quiet or polite with his second warning. 

I touched the horse’s brow and brushed his mane, rubbing his ears. Some horses don’t like their ears touched and this one shook his head, lunged from the prone position and tried to bite me. His feet flung sideways across the ground as if is effort to trample me. 

The sudden movement startled me and I jumped back a step, knowing that he was trying to kill me. His eyes, grey with near blindness were suddenly clear, as if focusing intense anger upon me. A sound like a freight train emanated from its throat - growling, not in frustration or fright, but rage.

I stepped back further and looked from him to Horseman. The man stared at me. The others gathered around watching. It was like a strange movie; woman versus crazy horse. 

The horse rolled onto its belly and struggled to rise, looking at me and gnashing the air with bloody teeth. It was then I realized that the horse was zombie. Somehow, some way, the Zomb mutated the virus to infect horses, just as they had done to the dogs from before.

I raised my revolver and drawing an imaginary ‘x’ from ear to eye across its forehead, I aimed and fired. The zombie horse dropped like a thousand pound bag of meat.

Do NOT use Discover Card

I haven't been posting in a while. I've been busy writing and working hard at my new software job, but I thought I would mention something that should of been obvious...

Do not use Discover Card.

A little background: I am slowly paying down a massive amount of debt from my first marriage. I've paid off over $20,000 in the last five years and I even transferred balances, borrow money from friends, and got a part-time job to pay down this debt. I'm one of those people who works hard and pays their own way.

Years ago I had six credit cards run up and I was paying everything I could towards paying them off. Being out of work last year put a nine month crimp in my payment plans - making only minimum payments until I found a job and getting ahead of the curve. I'm succeeding. My credit score is almost 800 and in three months I'll be debt free (just in time to replace my 15 year old truck and have that new payment and hopefully start saving for retirement.)

So last month, over three weeks ago I accidentally overpaid my Discover card by over a thousand dollars. The card balance was paid off but they have over a thousand dollars of my money that they absolutely refuse to give back to me.

They said they would send a check and that it takes 5 to 7 days. 7 days later, no check. I called them and they said they would send another check or send an electronic transfer of the funds. I gave them all the information to do the transfer and they said it would be there in three days. Three days later no funds. I call them again, they again lie to me and say, "In three days." Three more days later, still no check. I called the executive office today and their response was... wait for it... "three days." I tell them this is completely unacceptable. The woman promises to send me a check for $50. I don't want a check for $50. I want my thousand dollars. I call back to executive resolutions and they refuse to let me talk to a supervisor or the COO or the CEO. Of course they won't let me do that, they will get fired for what I would say to the CEO.

Yes, I made a mistake. I accidentally overpaid them but for them to keep the money is just plain evil. I firmly believe that they are intentionally refusing to give me my credit balance back because they want to keep the money.

Do NOT use Discover card.

Update: After a couple months I realized that they send me junk mail no less than once or twice a week. They refused to send me my money back. I had to fight and deal with their stress. They jerked me around for three weeks, but when it comes to worthless junk-mail they make sure it arrives like clockwork. Unbelievable.

Ebook Housekeeping Kindle, Nook, Sony, etc

To keep this straight in my own mind... My books are on Kindle and Nook:
www.tinyurl.com/TheKillersCoop and www.tinyurl.com/KillersCoopNook
www.tinyurl.com/JulieRNook and www.tinyurl.com/JulieRayzor
plus all book formats are supported on Smashwords:
https://www.smashwords.com/books/search?query=the+Killer%27s+Co-op
and
https://www.smashwords.com/books/search?query=Julie+Rayzor

Julie Rayzor Zombies on Barnes and Nobel Nook

My Julie Rayzor zombie novel is now available on Nook for 99 cents! This full length zombie book is less than a buck!

http://tinyurl.com/JulieRNook

Midwest Book Review featured the Julie Rayzor zombie novel!

I'm thrilled!  On top of the great Amazon review yesterday, The Midwest Book Review just sent me a letter state that The october 2012 edition of their magazine Children's Bookwatch features "Julie Rayzor" zombie novel.

The review states: "When times are tough, everyone must fight in their own way. 'Julie Rayzor: Romance, Adventure, Zombies' is a thriller of a dangerous future world where Julie Rayzor, a seventeen year old trying to survive in thise conflict, embarks on a rescue mission that falls apart and leaves her in more danger than ever. A riveting tale of adventure with plenty of coming of age elements, 'Julie Rayzor' is a fine pick for teenaged readers and above, recommended."

Thank you to James A. Cox Editor in chief and Diane C. Donovan, Editor and the rest of The Midwest Book Review for this amazing feature! http://www.midwestbookreview.com/cbw/oct_12.htm

New five star review for Julie Rayzor zombie adventure.

A new spin on the zombie tale, October 11, 2012

By 

Heather Badgwell (Florida, USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Julie Rayzor ~ Romance, Adventure, Zombies (Julie Rayzor Zombie Novel) (Kindle Edition)

I received this book from the author...

To be honest, this book took me by surprise. It takes place in the Tulsa area (and surrounding areas). Its a whole new take on Zombies. Julie was a Scab, but managed to survive on her own, with only her best friend, Jill, by her side. They made it to a military set up known as "Fort Tulsa" and were tested and taken care of. Little did she know, that the Zombs were doing things no one ever thought possible. They were almost...civilized! But how? Then, when the worst possible thing that could happen, actually happens, Julie has to test her own will and inner strength, and the man she loves, to get through it all. Absolutely LOVED this book!

From amazon www.tinyurl.com/JulieRayzor