1.
Find and replace the word “even” with the word “odd.”
If the sentence doesn’t work, delete it.
2.
Quit using adverbs. They are evil, lazy, and
destructive. They will destroy your creative work and cause you to rely on lazy
writing techniques such as passive voice. They are evil because they should be
considered evil and destroyed like ISIS.
3.
Get rid of to-be verbs. Rewrite, restructure,
and reinvent any sentence with the words: were, was, would, have, been, had,
etc. If the sentence sounds lazy, rewrite it.
4.
Please stop using passive voice. Take this: “They
had decided long ago, almost as soon as we had left the cars and began this
trudge up the mountain, that I was just slowing them down. They were right. If
we did this hike at my preferred pace, the speed would be much slower than this
kamakazi attack on the welch landscape.” Fifty-four words. I count five to-be
verbs, incorrect punctuation that MS Word catches as an error, the word “right”
being used instead of “correct,” extraneous verbosity… And do I see mixed
present-past tense? Plus, you can tell the writer sees this sentence as a
darling, and all darlings must be killed.
I’d rewrite this section as
follows: “We left the cars and started up the mountain. If they let me set the
pace, we’d proceed much slower than their attack on the steep welch landscape.”
This is Twenty eight words that relay action and reads fast with the same point
made. There is no prose, but the reader doesn’t expect to be reading a
candidate for the Nobel Prize for literature. Give the reader a good read and
he or she will buy your next book and recommend you to others.
5.
Get rid of the word, “that.” Most of “that” can
be deleted and not change the meaning of the sentence.
6.
Kill your darlings. I know. I know. I’ve been
there. We all have written beautiful prose. We’ve put them in places where they
don’t fit, or yank the reader out of the story. Those are verboten. Kill your
darlings!
7.
Never use clichés. Those cute mousey phrases
creep into any writers work as they pound the keys to get their story down. As
you edit your own work recognize these rodents for what they are: vermin. Then
exterminate them. Your readers will not know why your book is better than the
average slush on the self-publishing book shelves, but you will.
8.
Hire a competent editor. There’s millions of
writers who need to make a living. Editing your self-published book is a good
way for them to make five hundred bucks. Hire an editor who has proven credentials
and pay them several times more than that. You get what you pay for. Or learn
the hard way, write four or five novels, then hire and editor, and wish you had
hired a good editor first.
9.
Pick a theme for your story and stick to it.
10.
Each chapter is a scene. Each scene must have a
point. It must tell the reader something that drives the story forward.
11.
Memorize the preceeding ten.
That's 11. Now edit, edit, and edit your novel. (That's 12.) And quit spending so much time promoting them on facebook. All you are doing in selling to other writers. (That one is 13.)
